yamanai ame da neeee

Friday, December 30, 2005

Is this the second post of the day?

ok i know i shouldnt be complaining since everyone is gg through the same thing but please just let me.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO??
I'M GOING TO A TOTALLY NEW ENVIRONMENT AND IT JUST OCCURED TO ME TT THEY MAKE YOU DO WEIRD THINGS AND MAKE YOU TURN INTO PEOPLE YOU ARENT. I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO THINGS I DONT WANNA DO DONT WANNA TRY. I DONT WANNA GO AND ACT ENTHU CAUSE I DUNNO HOW DAMMIT. WHAT AM I EXPECTED TO DO? TO FEEL? TO ACT? TO WHATEVER! TO PRESENT MYSELF? OMG I'M SERIOUSLY LIKE REGRETING MY HORRIBLE DECISION ABT JC AND ARGHHHH I DONT WANNA DO IT SERIOUSLY.

DAMN IT I WANNA BE WORRYING ABT MY HOMEWORK PILE ABT STUDYING FOR MY TEST IN THE FIRST WEEK OF TERM ONE .
ABT FACING ERM SUSHILA AND MY LIT HMWK.
ABT MY HORRIBLE PHYSICS AND AMATHS.
ABT MY FREAKING CHINESE OS ABT DOING BADLY FOR MY OS.
I WANNA GO TO SCH KNOWING WHERE IM GOING AND SEEING PEOPLE IM FAMILIAR WITH.
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LIE ON THE TABLE AND SLEEP WITHOUT WORRYING TT PPL WILL LAUGH AT ME.
I WANNA WALK UP FOUR FLIGHTS OF STAIRS AND GO TO CLASS COMPLAINING ABT THE STAIRS IN STNICKS.
I WANNA SIT DOWN AND LAUGH ABT STUPID THINGS
I WANNA TALK ABT OUT OLD TIMES IN ST NICKS WITH MY CLASS MATES.
I WANNA WALK TO PHYSICS LAB AND SEE MR MOHAN WAITING FOR US.
I WANNA GET BACK AMATHS TEST AND LAUGH AT EACH OTHER FOR GETTING A SINGLE DIGIT.
I WANNA PASS DOWN LARGE STACKS OF WORKSHEETS AND O LEVELS PAPER AND MESSING UP PHYSICS ON WITH CHEM ONES.
I WANNA CHEAT FOR MY TEST IN THE MORN CAUSE I HAVENT STUDIED.
I WANNA STAY FOR NIGHT STUDY AND BE IN THE CANTEEN AT NIGHT.
I WANNA SEE THE BATS AGN.

there. you all dont have to read it. just skip it cause its all rubbish.. i was just ranting.

8:05 PM

3 more days wah shit.
scary scary scary!!!

I'm finally gg out this sunday.. FINALLY.
oh well.

eh i wanna go back for orientation..
hai. miss st nicks already.

6:24 PM

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Yesterday went online and met sale and diana.
Relived my energy times haha.. cause yest energy was on enews..
so exciting right??? i thought i'll nvr see them on tv ever again!!
Kd was so cute ok! hahah.. and the funny little boy was qt cute also.
and shuwei :))
i think they look absoloutely the best when playing bball cause ahh.. :)

yes. ahem anw, sale sent me the new typhoon song and its actually the jing ying dao part 2!!! as in toro wrote a song with energy in their 2nd album then now he wrote a part 2 of the song in typhoon's album!! so cool right? haha.. i was amazed and now i'm addicted to it cause it's quite nice and it reminds me of when toro was with eg so huai nian hahha..
now i'm going to find the lyrics. haha even the lyrics is alike.

ok. then today morning i woke up early to watch dachangjing and i realised tt the ming zheng hao is actually the perhaps love man!!!! omg can. my sis says he can sing damn well and he sang chinese song!!! he's a korean and he sang chi i'm so proud of him :)
so now i'm dying to watch perhaps love but i can't and i think by the time i can it finish alr.. so sad.. hopefully it will last very long or smth. cause i keep seeing it's advert on channel 54 and it looks very nice and sad and all. awww.. i want!

oh yah. yes yan hong. guess what i've been worried abt my results also!!! i keep getting spasms of nervousness when ever i think abt feb ok. omggg. i'm scared shit and i keep imagining what will happen on the day itself and me crying and alll that shit.
sorry lah i will surely cry one! take chi os results i also cry altho i had no reason to. hai..

and yes i was wondering abt the snape thing also but i figured his book was 2nd hand since he looked qt poor and all. haha.. and at 1st i suspected tt the book is voldy's. hm.. maybe it is? hahah.. dunno.

oh yah we must must must have celebs bbq! if not i won't, like eunice said, be able to go to a new school in peace. how how we have no house to go.. so sad.

4:20 PM

b
Tuesday, December 27, 2005

been keeping myself occupied by playing lord of the rings and watching da chang jing.
sch reopens in a week better make use of my time.

hahah.. i still feel worried abt gg to a new sch.
really hate the change of environment.

is anyone even reading this? hm.

2:45 PM

Monday, December 19, 2005

hai.. i'm feeling so bored..

how? i'm so worried! what if i cant make it to school or..erm.... that i'm full of scars when i go back??? omg.
i burst quite alot loh! but is not purposely one :((((((((((((((((
:(((((

i've nvr felt so horrible in my life hurting everywhere and stinging like shit.
fever won't go down
ARGHHHHHHH

12:39 PM

Friday, December 16, 2005

who's gonna save me now?

what can i say? i'm just too lucky.

pox rocks. :((((((((

11:37 PM

arghhhhhh.

i'm so scared and worried and argh!

i can't believe i'm leaving st nicks lah seriously.
omg shit lah im so scared!

i reallly seriously cannot convince myself.

11:57 AM

Monday, December 12, 2005

OH MY GOD.

i found xiao mei's BLOG.

http://popblog.tvbs.com.tw/blog/mikeho7212/

OMG OMG OMG.

Hhahah i really can't believe this!!!
Oh yah. anw, i read one report then they typed his eng name wrongly..
Hahah it was damn funny cause [due to their lously english]
they typed "Mike Ho" [is it ho or he?]
as haah "Mike Ha"
HAHAHAHAH!!!!!
so lame lah!!! oh man... how can make this kind of mistake!

anw, i found so many nice sites in xiao mei.
haha.. the emzsb site is this
http://www.chinatv.com.tw/event/2005/devil/
cheryl aixin! go see it! its nice :)

3:45 PM

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Hi,

I dont mean to scare anyone or anything.
Ok actually i'm just scaring myself.
argh.

16 dec.
I'm so freaking scared
i think i'm going to pee myself and die.

Seriously.
fuck fuck fuck.
I really hate this!! What's gonna happen on result day.. AH!!!!!

5 more days.

9:03 PM

Friday, December 09, 2005

oh man.. i just finished e mo zai shen bian.

I cried through the entire last 6 epis.

Hahah..
Except the mother part which i thought was dumb cause i think she cant act
and i dont like her.
Oh well.. its really a very very enjoyable show and i actually feel sad that its all over!!!
omg.. its so great.
Oh yah but i thought the last sex scene shit was cute. Hahah.. as in well done lah.
thay didnt show anything r rated or any skin[the girl's] so it was ok..
Xiao mei's body is so good!!! argh. aiyah, model material lah.
It wasn't too mature and it was sweet. so..hm.
yah. omg i sound so sick but its true! anyone who watches it will know. :P

Hahah.. this is so funny lah. its 5 am now and later we're all going to go Genting at like 5.30 :/
I'm gonna sleep like a log on the car.
Ok now i have to go fold the clothes. erm.. hahah can you imagine someone folding clothes this early in the morn. EEEYER!!! omg im scaring myself!!!

4:55 AM

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Slept at 4 yest and woke up at 2 today.
omg.

Just finshed the last sweet in Mynah's bottle.
The finality of it all.

7:38 PM

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Today was a great great day!

Ok.. hahah the meeting was ok.. talk alot of crap and kept digressing.
Anw, knew we wouldn't come up with anything substantial but in the end we sort of did lah. A bit. Hahah...

Ok. THEN..
Aixin, Yan hong and i, decided that we didnt want to go home..
So we took a map and just randomly pointed at some place. hahah..
Then in the end my pencil hit Caldecott Hill.
Heh heh heh... so we really went lah!
and then on the way we keep saying if we go in then see like fann wong or whatever then just use construction paper [which i had at tt time] then anyhow write her name and start waving. Hahahh... each person one letter. so cute loh!!! then can you imagine if we were too huang then write wrongly. hahah... like in the end got 2 letters repeat or smth then become fan fan wen insted of fan wen fang.
HAHAH!!! I'm still laughing about it now ok! From this afternoon. Hahaha...

Ok so we went there lah..
Then sorry, in the end we didnt see anyone hahah..
OK we saw some one.. we saw zhen ge ping!!! and his wife!!! you know the hong hui fang or whatever.
Hahaha... i was pretty excited actually. Hahah... so funny ok..
Then we got bored so we walked ard the WHOLE mediacorp which i nvr knew was this freaking big. It had so many up slopes i walk until i had no more energy then i was like falling back wards. Hahaha...

Oh yah.. then we saw some ming xing ou xiang person.
Bryan i think.. and we saw that horrible girl.
Omg.. horrible. Her voice is a mix of bernice and.. erm.. man. Hahah.. I DUNNO!
REally. i was so embarassed by her and some more we were in school u.
Hahah i think its that Cai fen girl lah [since my bloggy is so di diao kind i dont think anyone will read abt this] Hahah... horrible leh.

Ok anw, we went yan hong's house cause its so near by and cause we were dying of hunger and thirst. So.. yah.
And then when we got there... there wasn't anyone one loh!
Then haha her daddy and mummy came back and we all sat down to eat bei bei mian. Hahah it was so funny.
He forced us to eat this funny african fruit hahah it was so funny.
Then me and aixin were like 'erm..' hahah...
So we ate lah. and it had that.. erm dry taste and it tasted like cough meds.
ahah... cant take it.
Oh yah there got alot of so so so cute babies.
One high fived with me! awww...

yah tts it lah.
going to not sleep and watch emzsb tonite.

9:10 PM

Monday, December 05, 2005

Argh.
Just watched e mo zai shen bian for like the 4th time.
I swear i'll never get tired of looking at xiao mei :)
He can act damn well lah!
Actually all the actors in this show are very very natural.. they bring out the nature of the character very well and very nicely..
ah.. i feel happy.

Hahah anw, going to start watching nan ding now.
Wish me happy watching.
Shuwei and Kunda and Nuinai are all so so so cute there :)

12:53 PM

Friday, December 02, 2005

I look to my left.. i see a box of drawing block.. empty, filled slashed, black, white..
I look to my right.. i see my table. Piled full of things. Chem, maths, testimonial.. my Form A.. alot alot of papers.

Gosh.
By this time last year[and the past few years] my table would have been sparkling.
like really really clean. No eraser dust no pens no books no papers no nothing.
Now, i just don't wanna remove it at all..

It's just this reluctance to move on that i'm quite sure everyone experience from time to time.. and this time, this feeling is stronger then any other time i've felt it before.
I don't want to move on. No, im quite sure i don't.
For once i'm really sure of something in my life. I don't want things to change..
Haha..i know i sound so melancholy argh. But its the truth!

Yeah, i'm already starting to miss everything i had just not so long ago.
My class. My dear dear class room.. omg.. my class mates.
How we slogged.. came to school every morning.. tired but well, happy.
The spirit was so good.. its like we knew we were trying our very best so as not to disappoint those who put all their hopes on us.
You know? Hai.. i dunno how to describe.. but the feeling.. i felt united at that time.
It was great really really great knowing you people.
I don't know if anyone is reading this. But i just wanna tell all of you that all of what we have done together helped me grow.
I know as time past we will soon forget all the individuals.. nothing is forever.
But i will never forget us as a whole and all the funny, lame, stupid, touching things we did together.

Guides? I can't even begin.
From that selfish little brattish me in sec one.. i've changed into.. well, me!
Times in guides are unforgettable.
Really. hai.. omg i feel like crying.
The pride i feel for being in guides is comparable to nothing else in the world.
What else other then guides could have made me cry, laugh, get angry, get sad, sit through this roller coaster ride and come out of it all knowing strong and well in my heart that i still love it?
To all the seniors and juniors in guides.. every single one of you who have crossed my path for better of for worst. I'll miss you.

Celebs.. i dunno how come we ended up together..haha.. but as fate would have it, we did.
Without all of you.. i'm not sure if i could have made it through os.
Night study, helping me laugh even though i know i screwed the paper.. everything lah. Its too much to put in words.
The hotel shit was so so so fun even though we sort of slept through it :D
Swensons 1 am in the morn. Orchard when there was hardly anyone ard.
I'll never experience it with better ppl.

Campchallenge. Vicis.. my prime in my career in guides.
We trained, we laughed, we had lots and lots of fun together..
We may have been a funny group of people.. but without Vicis i wouldn't have had such a great time. Tough, but great.

Mynah. Omg mynah. We're a super patrol!
I know sometimes it seems like i don't care.. but mynah has really been my root in guides.
Without mynah where would i have been?
I know the answer, no where. Because i simply can't imagine me being anywhere else.
Shit im crying.
From sec one till now, i guess its only a real hard fact to say that Mynah has always been there throughout my whole 4 years.
Esther, Valerie, Christine, Rong Siu, Daphne, Eleanor, Aixin, Yanhong, Yining, Jolene, Haining, Munyee, Rachel, Erica, Cynthia, Jiayin, the sec ones...
Looking past all the politics and all that, i really really enjoyed all my time with you guys.

6Ht.. I really really love all of you..
Its amazing how we stayed together for so long even though we all had our own lives.
You guys have been my relief from school life during sec1 and 2.
I remember how we go to recess and laugh and laugh. Oh man..
I'll never ever forget every single one of you.

For all the people who went crazy with me over stars.. :)
Thanks for all that company.
Diana, Fanny, Jiayin and haha Winnie[this is for gg with me even though you dont like them].. All my energy buddies.
Diana! FUNmaiji. miaoSHA. nanding :)
We really really cried and laughed for them.. the bonds we formed because of energy is incredible because who was to know that 2 totally unrelated people became such good friends because of 5 people who are totally unrelated to us?
Thanks for sparing all your time with me.. all that money on phone bill and everything. Screaming with me over the phone. typing incoherent things and sending it uncontrollably to each other. Thank you.
I don't know if i'll meet people like all of you ever again.

Aixin for our Xiao mei times! I LOVE HIM omg i watch the e mo zai shen bian show is so so so nice i cant wait for you to see him in the show (:
Matong for wicked (: yeah.. like Elphaba and Glinda.. i know i've changed for the better.
Remember our date.. if Wicked ever comes to singapore we must must must watch it together.

I dunno if i missed anyone.
But i really wanna say a big thank you because i know that because i knew you[all of you], i have been changed for good :)

Now, for the ugly truth.. im being old and draggy again.. because.
I don't want to face whats up for me next year. and the next and the next.
I fear for everything that is to come from the time i leave st nicks onwards.
10 years is not a short time. Its a decade dammit.
I'm leaving my 2nd home for a decade to some where else where[the teachers always remind us] ppl dont care so much for us anymore. Where the envt is strange and foreign. For once. For once, i'll feel lost going to school. For once, i'll miss seeing fat choo every morn on the sweltering field. For once, i'll miss Ms Tan screaming at us during her funny mood swings. For once, i'll miss going down for assembly every thursday afternoon. For once, i'll miss everything that i once dreaded in st nicks.

Next year will be so different, so, so different.

8:34 PM

hi!

12:01 PM